.Saturday, August 18, 2007 ' 02:07 Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.you still are.
I'm stuck listening to the OST of "200 Pounds of Beauty",adding to the list of Korean songs that I've been addicted to of late. It's a nice and refreshing song, I seem to like Korean songs alot more than English medium songs these days. If only I can understand the language :(
Ok.I'm sure I didnt log into blogger to blog about my liking the song 'Maria'. Or how much I like certain songs. Rather, I have a more burning emotion to express, but I really have to surpress.
And I feel so uncomfortable doing that.
You know the feeling of wanting someone to understand, but the fact that you are overly-cautious of what things will develop into, of what consequences might arise, if I were to reveal things out publicly on this blog. It's a certain sense of nervousness that I feel, a sort of a fear that I'm chilling on.
On hindsight, I realised as I continue typing, that this surpression of emotions stems more of the fear of facing the harshness of reality.
it's the fear that crawls out of the realisation of your situation.
It's the fear of having to accept that what I'm doing is wrong.
It's the fear of having to deal with certain consequences myself.It's the fear of losing him, and losing yourself.And it is the ultimate fear of having to assess my conscience and face my own value-laden judgement of my self-worth as the matter unfolds.
I'm sleepy.
