.Monday, December 04, 2006 ' 00:21 Y
you used to be the reason, for my smile.you still are.
I'm sorry if I appear to be heartless, rude, impolite and insensitive.
But I really had no choice.
Things between us would have been better had you not been so persistent in your ways.
I gave you many chances to pull back but you overstepped the boundaries way too far.
You failed to recognise that it concerns more than just yourself but also my dignity, if you understand what it means in the first place.
I admit, I was taken away by your persuasiveness. initially.
But there is a clear distinction between persuasiveness and obsession.
And the latter was the cause of your undoing. Or rather the undoing of the cyberspace friendship that we have forged for nearly a year.
You claim that you are experiencing love. But for HEAVEN'S sake, have we even met before? All that we shared was based on our daily chats online. If love can be developed by msn messenger, there sure as HELL will not be that much of unmarried Singaporeans now.
You have to understand, at this age, I can be sure that girls who are grounded enough to reality are in a search for a life partner, not just someone to have fun with. not just someone who can pamper you with the sweets and the chocolates and the daily declarations of love. It goes beyond these norms. and it's reality when people say girls want to marry up and marry well.
And by that, it does not refer to mere economic or educational factors. Finances are undeniably important but it can be worked out in some way. It's the cultural capital we are looking for. It's that mix of an uncomprehensible algebraic equation that mainly spells out connection and chemistry as its main factors. I'm looking for a partner to guide me. To explore all the wrongs with me and to correct me to the right path. And if you are unsteady in the first place, how can that ever happen? how can
we ever happen?
We just don't click. You are the wrong key and hard as you try, you can't unlock the padlock. Try harder, and everything just breaks apart.
I'm really sorry I had to resort to what I did. I know it hurts. My heart is pricking thinking of how my words must have come across as a shock to you. But, for once, I have to start thinking for myself.
And apologetic as I may seem, I'm firm in my stand that I have not let you down.
It's 0050. and im depressed.
